Musings

Since only Ruth and I read this and it's sort of like a journal (for now) I thought I'd jot a couple of quick things down.
I always thought that, in pregnancy, I would finally be motivated to do all the healthy things that I've always wanted to do. Here is a list of all the ways I've disappointed myself so far:
1. I am NOT eating healthy!
A. I just ate my 3rd candy cane today! I just can't stop eating sweets and snacks!
B. I am not throwing all of my resources and energy into eating a complex vegetarian diet (I still live off of pasta and pizza and other easy junk!)
C. I still over-eat when I'm bored.
2. I am NOT exercising!
A. I'm actually working out LESS than pre-pregnancy! In the last week I've even stopped my morning walk! Since I have a desk job I virtually experience NO physical activity throughout my day!
3. I'm NOT meditating!
4. I'm NOT doing yoga!
5. I'm not even taking the baby classes, even though--as I'm about to enter my 2nd trimester--I'm finally eligible!
Ok, a lot of this has to do with my living situation. But, being pregnant should elevate me above all that! I should be overcoming ALL obstacles in order to provide the best environment for my baby!
This is it. The final sign that nothing other than my own will can motivate me to take care of myself. Sigh. I think it's time to throw out all those size 2 clothes that I haven't worn since sophomore year of college! (You know, the one time when I actually got really skinny...for reasons other than my own will-power!)
:)
This is kind of a depressing entry, but I think about this a lot. Pregnancy was supposed to be a transformative experience! The universe in order! Everything balanced perfectly! Wow, I wonder what child-rearing (surely the most perfect and transformative experience!) will be like? ;)