This morning I woke up at 5:15am because baby was kicking up a storm! The most wonderful thing: I sat in bed watching my stomach, and, for the first time, I SAW the baby move my tummy! My skin actually visibly poked out! I could not believe that this is even possible at 24 weeks, but I guess it is. The baby didn't stop, either. I felt movement--intense movement-- for the next 45 minutes, until I got up. I also noticed today that my stomach is noticeably bigger than it was yesterday. I have a theory that the baby has shifted and is now snugged right up against my abdomen...what else could it be? I didn't even eat ice cream last night! :)
Our little one is definitely moving about in earnest, and it is the most amazing thing. It's a little freaky (the movie "Alien" comes to mind, and also I wonder if something is wrong or if the baby is claustrophobic or something!), but mostly it's wonderful and I am reassured that our little one is getting bigger and stronger. I know when I hold our baby for the first time I will marvel at how I knew the baby even before he/she was born!
Next Comes 5!
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Some Notes on the Midwest
When I was in India I had a sudden perception of a "wind." I had been contemplating life and grappling with the lessons of Buddhism for a little while, and then suddenly I had a moment of clarity. It was in this moment of clarity that I had an abstract vision of the earth with a steady wind always flowing over everything. In that moment things came together for me, and I realized the futility of worrying over small things in the face of such vastness. I realized the futility of concerning myself with the transience of life; that the wind will rush on, that all things will continue...I am just a drop of water in an endless ocean.
I was reminded of this perception of wind this morning as I was walking to work. The wind is relentless this morning! But then, it often is out here. The funny thing is, the midwest wind doesn't bring to me feelings of clarity. It doesn't make me feel at peace. There is something empty about the wind that blows here. It also reminds me of the futility of life, but there is no reassurance that things will go on and that there are greater forces beyond me. The midwest wind whispers of despair, of death and decay. It whispers of the endless ocean of prairie, of abandoned farms, of loss. It hints at nothing greater. It tells me that this is all there is. And that this is nothing.
I was reminded of this perception of wind this morning as I was walking to work. The wind is relentless this morning! But then, it often is out here. The funny thing is, the midwest wind doesn't bring to me feelings of clarity. It doesn't make me feel at peace. There is something empty about the wind that blows here. It also reminds me of the futility of life, but there is no reassurance that things will go on and that there are greater forces beyond me. The midwest wind whispers of despair, of death and decay. It whispers of the endless ocean of prairie, of abandoned farms, of loss. It hints at nothing greater. It tells me that this is all there is. And that this is nothing.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Tummy Pictures
So, since a certain SOMEBODY has been pestering me for pictures of my bulging belly (Ruth, you know who you are!) haha--I decided to take a couple of quick tummy pictures this morning. Hopefully this weekend I can remember to get Travis to take some cuter ones! For now, this is what I have...at exactly 23 weeks!
The tummy is dressed and ready for work!
The tummy earlier, pooching out!
Profile shot of the tummy...notice how I can no longer effectively "suck it in"! (Believe me, I'm trying!)Monday, March 17, 2008
Daddy Gets Kicked!
Travis felt the baby kick for the first time! On Friday night I was lying in bed (after eating 1/2 a pint of Ben & Jerry's!) and I could feel the baby moving around. So far Travis hasn't been able to feel the baby, since usually the baby moves only briefly or too gently, but I decided that we should see if he could feel anyway. So put his hands on my tummy and we were both very quiet and within just a few seconds he got a huge kick! I could feel my stomach push against his hands, that's how hard the baby kicked! Travis actually felt about 5 movements and kicks before the baby calmed down, which was amazing! I think these kicks were the 2nd most amazing moment in the pregnancy (behind hearing the heartbeat for the first time!). It was so thrilling to feel the baby push my stomach against its daddy's hands...it was such a beautiful, connected moment. Our first family moment! :) I've been feeling the baby more and more lately...It seems like baby is most active after I've eaten, and that I'm better able to feel baby when I'm laying on my back. I'm starting to wonder what each movement is...some movements feel so different from others that I'm starting to recognize them, and guess which ones are kicks or flips or jerks, etc. It's such an awesome, amazing feeling!
Friday, March 14, 2008
Baby's Appointment Report!
So yesterday we had another prenatal appointment...I think it was our 4th one! Things went well...the hospital routine is beginning to feel a bit "old hat" to me now! I didn't even read the directions when I peed in the cup this time! Haha. We met with our favorite midwife, Terry, and were happy to find out that things are moving along more normally than we could have hoped for: the tetra screen (testing for various problems, like spina bifida, etc.) came out perfect, my toxoplasmosis screen (that disease from cats) came out clear (can you believe I've never had it? I've been surrounded by cats my whole life!), my weight is surprisingly fantastic (I've only gained 11 pounds since that first appointment, and I'm more than halfway through the pregnancy!), blood pressure and all are great! We were so glad. We also asked Terry a lot of questions about the Rhogam, and we're feeling a little better about that whole thing. There's a slim chance that Travis is also negative, in which case we won't need the Rhogam. We're going to request Travis' hospital records this week to find out! If he is positive I'll get the first shot of Rhogam in 6 weeks. I feel much better about it, and understand that the consequences of not taking Rhogam are far worse! (there are no consequences associated with taking it to speak of). So, it was a good and informative appointment! Of course we listened to baby's heart...it was strong and all over the place as usual! Terry loaned us a fetoscope so that Travis can listen to the heartbeat any time! Yay!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Okay so I'm crazy about our animals!
I couldn't resist! Look how close the cat got to the two dogs! There's one big window in our dining room that lets in the most sunlight, and all the animals always want to sit in that one patch of sunshine. Too cute...hooray for spring!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Another Baby Belly Shot!
I know that mom's going to be checking my blog soon, so I was desperate to get a good "baby belly" shot up! So desperate that I resorted to taking my own picture! I know, slightly pathetic, but at least with the white shirt against the brown door you can really see it! Plus, the shirt is so tight you REALLY get to see just what shape my tummy is taking! See those wrinkles under the shirt? The bottom wrinkle would be the maternity pants (they were my mom's!) and the top wrinkle is the top of the "Bella Band" that Ruth gave me (it's an elastic band that covers my whole tummy and is useful for holding up maternity pants, as well as pants that no longer can be buttoned!).
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
The Honeymoon Marches On!
So, yesterday I was feeling really sick for some reason. I had gotten a headache on Sunday morning that just seemed to get worse and worse. By Sunday night Travis was running to the store for a thermometer, all the medicines on the doctor's "approved medicines list" and anything else he could think of that might stave off some massive illness that would affect his baby--I mean, affect his wife. Right. Anyway, Monday morning he was appalled that I went to work, and even I wasn't so sure I should be there. Headache, sick to my stomach, shaky--just not feeling too hot! I stuck it out and fluctuated between feeling fine and feeling really sick all day. Travis called me 3 times throughout the day to check on me, and, the last time he called, he said that he wanted to make me dinner. Hmm...I told him I wasn't in the mood for pizza. He insisted that he was going to crack a cookbook and make a "real dinner." I asked him if he knew the difference between "dice" and "chop" and he said no, and that's where we left off. So I get home at 5:20pm and Travis is in the kitchen, listening to NPR with about 3 different pots and pans on the stove and yelling at me that I'm not allowed in the kitchen. He comes over, gives me a hug, and asks me what a clove of garlic is and where do we keep the olive oil. Needless to say, I'm nervous and trying to peek into the kitchen! He insists that I go take a bath and he'll let me know when dinner is done. So, I grab a book and hit the bathtub, and about 45 minutes later he comes into the bathroom with a gorgeous, garnished dinner! I still only vaguely understand what the sauce was made of, but I know there was tofu, basil, parsely, garlic, and oil involved for sure (I saw the evidence). Isn't he wonderful? Sigh. And, after all that, he insisted on cleaning up the kitchen himself while I read in bed. Bliss!
Monday, March 3, 2008
The Kitties!
So I realized that I have given so much blog space to the naughty doggies, and none to the super-naughty kitties! Here they are, being their naughty and (mostly) lazy selves!
Suki is the gray cat, Dali is the tabby. Can you tell where Suki is in the last picture??? That's right! The bathtub is one of his favorite places to hang out! (Especially when there's just a little bit of water in the tub!). Weird.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Halfway there!!!
Okay, so I didn't realize how dark the picture is until I threw it up on the computer! I'm attempting to show off how much my tummy is sticking out...in celebration of being halfway through the pregnancy! Yay! I can't believe that we're halfway there... I am treasuring every private moment with Travis, every minute that I sleep in, and every spontaneous thing we do! I know that, in about 4.5 months, we are going to be caught in a swirl of exhaustion, crying, babysitters--the works! I think the baby is probably a lot easier to deal with while it's in my tummy! :) In further celebration of being halfway done with the pregnancy, Travis and I are going out to dinner tonight. Yay, it's so exciting to be halfway there!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Pictures of the house!
Of course I have to start with the "naughty doggies" area! We keep them in the little hall space upstairs...straight ahead is the bathroom, to the left is the master bedroom and to the right is the nursery. That's a pretty little built-in linen closet that you see to the left! All the debri around the dogs??? Toys, cotton "guts" and squeakers from the toys, and lots of chewed up sticks!
This is a picture of our master bedroom, facing west. I know, it's like an aquarium, right?! Haha. We're planning to paint it a warm beige as soon as the weather warms up a little!
The kitchen! One of my favorite room! Facing the southeast corner. Next time I'll try turning on the light above the sink so you can actually see it! Hehe
The beautiful little breakfast nook on the north side of the kitchen...we're using it as a "beverage bar"...we've got the espresso machine, coffee maker, bottles of wine, etc. on there.More pictures of the house!
This is is a picture of the north wall of the dining area (we've turned the living room into a sitting/dining room)
Facing west...the dining area is closest to the kitchen and then we're creating a "sitting area" at the far end of the room...you can sort of see the rocking chair and bookshelf...hopefully a loveseat will be coming soon to round it out!
A view of one corner of the baby's room! (Yeah, we need some new blinds and curtains in there!) The border is really cute!
Upstairs bathroom...I LOVE the stone tile in the shower! I love taking a hot bath and laying my forehead against the cold stone...it feels so yummy!
Downstairs living room. That's a big honking speaker in the foreground to the right! This is looking west
View of the southwest corner of the living room...the room is too big, so we're using this corner as an office area! There's a little space off to the left that you can't see...we're still not sure what to do with it!
Downstairs bathroom
The "animal area!" This is the landing at the bottom of the stairs...living room ahead, bathroom and guestroom to the right, and laundry room to the left. It's where we have the ferret, cat litter, cat toys and bowls, etc. They love it down there!
Weird narrow view of the laundry room. It opens up to the left, and there's a wonderful lot of space, but I was in a hurry so you're stuck with this shot!Thursday, February 14, 2008
Yay for baby's 3rd appointment!
So, we had baby's 3rd appointment yesterday! It went really well. Our midwife is on a team with two other midwives (so we have a 33% chance of getting any one of them when I go into labor)...when we showed up for our appt we found out that our midwife was in the hospital, so we got to meet one of the other midwives, and we loved her! We're still partial to Terry, but Linda (who we met yesterday) was brilliant and personable and wonderful! So, here's the skinny on how the appointment went:
*We heard the heartbeat again! It was so much stronger and louder this time. Still 148 bpm, and the baby still moved all over the place while we were listening! The heart beat sounded very distinctly like a galloping horse...I think we've got a horse-lover in there? :) (Of course I'm hoping so!)
* All of my labs came back good...my iron level is good, I had no diseases or anything abnormal going on...my urine has no protein or sugar (for those of you who really want to hear about my pee!)...yay!
*I finally found out my blood type: A negative. Unfortunately, I'm also RH negative, which means that, if baby is RH positive, my blood could develop antibodies against the baby's blood and attack future pregnancies. So, I have to get a shot of Rogam (spelling?) in about 10 weeks. I've been assured that there are no side effects (and that the alternative is in-utero blood transfusions for future RH positive babes), so I will definitely be getting the shot. I still have to do a lot of research, though!
* Okay, I've lost all inhibitions with sharing my weight: I've gained! In the last month I've gained 10 pounds!!!! Since I lost 5 pounds last month (and had gained 5 pounds the first month) I've gained 10 pounds overall since becoming pregnant, which isn't bad at 18 weeks, but it's not good that I gained it all in a month! ;) So I need to lay off the junk food...
*Since we're not getting an ultrasound (without medical implications) we decided to order the triple-screen (AKA "tetra-screen"). We also ordered a toxoplasmosis test. I can't wait for the results!
Okay, probably more than anyone needed to know...
*We heard the heartbeat again! It was so much stronger and louder this time. Still 148 bpm, and the baby still moved all over the place while we were listening! The heart beat sounded very distinctly like a galloping horse...I think we've got a horse-lover in there? :) (Of course I'm hoping so!)
* All of my labs came back good...my iron level is good, I had no diseases or anything abnormal going on...my urine has no protein or sugar (for those of you who really want to hear about my pee!)...yay!
*I finally found out my blood type: A negative. Unfortunately, I'm also RH negative, which means that, if baby is RH positive, my blood could develop antibodies against the baby's blood and attack future pregnancies. So, I have to get a shot of Rogam (spelling?) in about 10 weeks. I've been assured that there are no side effects (and that the alternative is in-utero blood transfusions for future RH positive babes), so I will definitely be getting the shot. I still have to do a lot of research, though!
* Okay, I've lost all inhibitions with sharing my weight: I've gained! In the last month I've gained 10 pounds!!!! Since I lost 5 pounds last month (and had gained 5 pounds the first month) I've gained 10 pounds overall since becoming pregnant, which isn't bad at 18 weeks, but it's not good that I gained it all in a month! ;) So I need to lay off the junk food...
*Since we're not getting an ultrasound (without medical implications) we decided to order the triple-screen (AKA "tetra-screen"). We also ordered a toxoplasmosis test. I can't wait for the results!
Okay, probably more than anyone needed to know...
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Reasons why the doggies love the new house!
1. Doggies love naps in the sun on the warm, wooden floors!
2. Doggies love being naughty and ripping all the "guts" out of their toys and making the house a mess!
3. Doggies love cuddling on doggie pillows (more napping)
Aren't these two so cute???
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Things I Love About Our New House!
As a list-lover I need to write a list of all the things I love about our new place!
1. I love taking a two hour bath in our gorgeous tub with candles and a magazine!
2. I love laying in bed after Travis has left in the morning and listening to the distant train whistles blow
3. I love standing in the quiet, empty nursery and thinking about all of the chaos it will contain in 5 months!
4. I love opening the drapes in the morning and watching the cats squint in the sunlight
5. I love snuggling in our super comfy bed with Travis! I love all the blankets and pillows and softness
6. I love walking through the neighborhood and seeing kids playing in the snow, people walking their dogs, people shoveling their sidewalks, etc. I love living in the "city"!
7. I love cooking...I think this weekend I will have to go crazy and delve into things more elaborate than pasta!
8. I love listening to NPR with Travis in the evening
9. I love the way Travis tucks me in and tells me to go back to sleep in the morning (even though I never do!)...it's way better than rushing around and heading out for a long commute at 4:30am!
10. I love playing with the dogs in the yard at lunch, and I love walking the dogs through the neighborhood.
I could go on and on! I think I'll start with 10. I am SO HAPPY! I love our home! :)
1. I love taking a two hour bath in our gorgeous tub with candles and a magazine!
2. I love laying in bed after Travis has left in the morning and listening to the distant train whistles blow
3. I love standing in the quiet, empty nursery and thinking about all of the chaos it will contain in 5 months!
4. I love opening the drapes in the morning and watching the cats squint in the sunlight
5. I love snuggling in our super comfy bed with Travis! I love all the blankets and pillows and softness
6. I love walking through the neighborhood and seeing kids playing in the snow, people walking their dogs, people shoveling their sidewalks, etc. I love living in the "city"!
7. I love cooking...I think this weekend I will have to go crazy and delve into things more elaborate than pasta!
8. I love listening to NPR with Travis in the evening
9. I love the way Travis tucks me in and tells me to go back to sleep in the morning (even though I never do!)...it's way better than rushing around and heading out for a long commute at 4:30am!
10. I love playing with the dogs in the yard at lunch, and I love walking the dogs through the neighborhood.
I could go on and on! I think I'll start with 10. I am SO HAPPY! I love our home! :)
Friday, January 25, 2008
Kicking???
Since the midwife informed us that our baby is practicing gymnastics and soccer in my womb with fantastic ferocity I have been trying really hard to feel the baby. At my stage and weight I knew that it was possible, so I felt like I just really needed to "listen." Every night I place my hands on my tummy and breathe deeply, trying to quiet my body and listen only to baby. I've been so disappointed because I haven't felt a thing. I thought that if I concentrated hard enough then my womanly powers would come through and help connect me to our child!
Then, yesterday morning, there was something new: I had just gotten into the shower and was standing there trying to defrost when I felt a flicker. That's all it was, and that's the only way to describe it. Just a little flicker in my tummy, and then it was gone and I was left wondering if I had actually felt anything at all. Of course it would happen when I'm not even concentrating! Even though I'm skeptical, Travis has no doubt in his mind that it was our baby. Travis has much more faith our ability to connect with our baby than I do! Last night Travis was resting his head on my stomach and humming a song to the baby and he insisted that he could "hear" the baby in my tummy. We used to spend a lot of time in the grass at the horse stable with his head on my stomach looking up at the sky, and he insists that he's never heard anything similar to the ruckus inside my tummy now!
So, we'll see. I do feel somewhat strongly that yesterday marks the first time that the baby connected to the outside world, but I think it will take more time and experience before I can be sure of where my body stops and our baby begins.
Then, yesterday morning, there was something new: I had just gotten into the shower and was standing there trying to defrost when I felt a flicker. That's all it was, and that's the only way to describe it. Just a little flicker in my tummy, and then it was gone and I was left wondering if I had actually felt anything at all. Of course it would happen when I'm not even concentrating! Even though I'm skeptical, Travis has no doubt in his mind that it was our baby. Travis has much more faith our ability to connect with our baby than I do! Last night Travis was resting his head on my stomach and humming a song to the baby and he insisted that he could "hear" the baby in my tummy. We used to spend a lot of time in the grass at the horse stable with his head on my stomach looking up at the sky, and he insists that he's never heard anything similar to the ruckus inside my tummy now!
So, we'll see. I do feel somewhat strongly that yesterday marks the first time that the baby connected to the outside world, but I think it will take more time and experience before I can be sure of where my body stops and our baby begins.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Countdown to Closing!
Last night Travis and I met met with the mortgage broker (again) to continue slogging through all of the paperwork that needs to be done. Things are picking up speed now, and we're finding ourselves meeting or otherwise communicating with crowds of home-ownership related people every day! If it's not a meeting with the mortgage broker than it's emails with the realtor or phone calls to homeowners insurance agents or the appraiser or the inspectortheelectriciantheplumber...the list goes on and on! And hopefully soon we'll be shaking hands with our neighbors-to-be! (The plan is to try to meet them before it's too late to back out of buying the house...just in case they're ax murderers!). Just kidding...I know they're not ax murderers because I've already looked up the crime stats and registered sex offenders in our new neighborhood! :)
We LOVE this house. It's funny because I fell in love with this house the same way that I fell in love with Charlie...Like Charlie, I saw the picture and just felt my heart skip a beat (kind of like the first time I saw Travis down the aisle of the horse stable, for that matter!). Then we "met" the house and everything seemed like a perfect fit, but also a work in progress (a lot like Charlie!). We love the house because it's a good size, it's a block away from the daycare we're signed up for, and it's close enough for me to walk to work every day. It's in an older neighborhood with big, beautiful trees and it's a quiet part of town and it's close to the river (but not in the flood plain!) and close to downtown and the grocery store. We are IN LOVE with the house because it's still got a lot of it's 1950's charm...original hardwood floors, cute ranch style and adorable nooks, built in cabinets, etc. And we are in love with the house for all of its modern updating...such as a dishwasher and central air conditioning! But, the moment that we knew this house is the perfect one for us was the moment that we saw the nursery! Right next to the master bedroom is a nursery that is decorated with the jungle theme that Travis and I were interested in! We couldn't believe it!
Of course, there are some things that need work. We need to shore up the firewall in the garage and do some landscaping around the house to make sure that water doesn't ever come into the basement (a common problem here in below-sea-level-land). We need to put batteries in the smoke detectors and replace/re-glaze some windows. We need to caulk the downstairs bathtub and fix a shoddy door in the breezeway. There are loads of little projects! But, that's kind of how we operate (if you know Charlie then you know the truth of this!). We fall in love and then we get to work! So, as we go through this complicated closing process keep your fingers crossed for us...at this point Feb. 1st is our move-in date! Yay!
We LOVE this house. It's funny because I fell in love with this house the same way that I fell in love with Charlie...Like Charlie, I saw the picture and just felt my heart skip a beat (kind of like the first time I saw Travis down the aisle of the horse stable, for that matter!). Then we "met" the house and everything seemed like a perfect fit, but also a work in progress (a lot like Charlie!). We love the house because it's a good size, it's a block away from the daycare we're signed up for, and it's close enough for me to walk to work every day. It's in an older neighborhood with big, beautiful trees and it's a quiet part of town and it's close to the river (but not in the flood plain!) and close to downtown and the grocery store. We are IN LOVE with the house because it's still got a lot of it's 1950's charm...original hardwood floors, cute ranch style and adorable nooks, built in cabinets, etc. And we are in love with the house for all of its modern updating...such as a dishwasher and central air conditioning! But, the moment that we knew this house is the perfect one for us was the moment that we saw the nursery! Right next to the master bedroom is a nursery that is decorated with the jungle theme that Travis and I were interested in! We couldn't believe it!
Of course, there are some things that need work. We need to shore up the firewall in the garage and do some landscaping around the house to make sure that water doesn't ever come into the basement (a common problem here in below-sea-level-land). We need to put batteries in the smoke detectors and replace/re-glaze some windows. We need to caulk the downstairs bathtub and fix a shoddy door in the breezeway. There are loads of little projects! But, that's kind of how we operate (if you know Charlie then you know the truth of this!). We fall in love and then we get to work! So, as we go through this complicated closing process keep your fingers crossed for us...at this point Feb. 1st is our move-in date! Yay!
Close to Having a Home!
This is the house!
The top picture is of the front, then there's the backyard (which is now completely fenced with a beautiful, wooden privacy fence) and then the downstairs den, master bedroom, and upstairs living room! We can't wait to move in! February 1st is the magic day!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Yeah for baby!
I finally can accept and revel in the fact that I am really and truly pregnant! Travis and I had an appt with our midwife yesterday, and--for the first time--we were able to hear our baby's heartbeat! It was such a magical moment. Travis held my hand and I cried while the midwife laughed as he moved the dopplar all around my stomach trying to keep track of our little wiggler! Our baby has a very good, strong heartbeat that's 148 beats per minute (nearly 3 times my own, which is 58 bpm!). The midwife also seemed impressed by how much our baby moves around! Apparently in 6 weeks I won't be getting much sleep. :) I also check out as very healthy, with a good weight and low blood pressure. Although, the midwife did threaten to send a note to my boss if I keep working through my lunches! I guess I better learn to take it easy. Right now I'm feeling pretty good--not as tired as I was a couple of weeks ago and slightly more emotionally stable. My tummy is bulging out a tiny bit (despite having lost 5 pounds since my last dr. appt.!) and I am thirsty all the time! Other than that, I hardly notice the little tyke! Travis and I are so elated, and spent a lot of time last night talking about our dreams for our baby, our hopes for our own abilities as parents, and what a miracle it truly is that we have played a (large) part in the creation of a new person. It is the most incredible feeling.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Musings
Since only Ruth and I read this and it's sort of like a journal (for now) I thought I'd jot a couple of quick things down.
I always thought that, in pregnancy, I would finally be motivated to do all the healthy things that I've always wanted to do. Here is a list of all the ways I've disappointed myself so far:
1. I am NOT eating healthy!
A. I just ate my 3rd candy cane today! I just can't stop eating sweets and snacks!
B. I am not throwing all of my resources and energy into eating a complex vegetarian diet (I still live off of pasta and pizza and other easy junk!)
C. I still over-eat when I'm bored.
2. I am NOT exercising!
A. I'm actually working out LESS than pre-pregnancy! In the last week I've even stopped my morning walk! Since I have a desk job I virtually experience NO physical activity throughout my day!
3. I'm NOT meditating!
4. I'm NOT doing yoga!
5. I'm not even taking the baby classes, even though--as I'm about to enter my 2nd trimester--I'm finally eligible!
Ok, a lot of this has to do with my living situation. But, being pregnant should elevate me above all that! I should be overcoming ALL obstacles in order to provide the best environment for my baby!
This is it. The final sign that nothing other than my own will can motivate me to take care of myself. Sigh. I think it's time to throw out all those size 2 clothes that I haven't worn since sophomore year of college! (You know, the one time when I actually got really skinny...for reasons other than my own will-power!)
:)
This is kind of a depressing entry, but I think about this a lot. Pregnancy was supposed to be a transformative experience! The universe in order! Everything balanced perfectly! Wow, I wonder what child-rearing (surely the most perfect and transformative experience!) will be like? ;)
I always thought that, in pregnancy, I would finally be motivated to do all the healthy things that I've always wanted to do. Here is a list of all the ways I've disappointed myself so far:
1. I am NOT eating healthy!
A. I just ate my 3rd candy cane today! I just can't stop eating sweets and snacks!
B. I am not throwing all of my resources and energy into eating a complex vegetarian diet (I still live off of pasta and pizza and other easy junk!)
C. I still over-eat when I'm bored.
2. I am NOT exercising!
A. I'm actually working out LESS than pre-pregnancy! In the last week I've even stopped my morning walk! Since I have a desk job I virtually experience NO physical activity throughout my day!
3. I'm NOT meditating!
4. I'm NOT doing yoga!
5. I'm not even taking the baby classes, even though--as I'm about to enter my 2nd trimester--I'm finally eligible!
Ok, a lot of this has to do with my living situation. But, being pregnant should elevate me above all that! I should be overcoming ALL obstacles in order to provide the best environment for my baby!
This is it. The final sign that nothing other than my own will can motivate me to take care of myself. Sigh. I think it's time to throw out all those size 2 clothes that I haven't worn since sophomore year of college! (You know, the one time when I actually got really skinny...for reasons other than my own will-power!)
:)
This is kind of a depressing entry, but I think about this a lot. Pregnancy was supposed to be a transformative experience! The universe in order! Everything balanced perfectly! Wow, I wonder what child-rearing (surely the most perfect and transformative experience!) will be like? ;)
Monday, December 17, 2007
A List
Like some people I know, I am a big fan of making lists. So, in the spirit of list-making, I have decided to make....a....list!
Here are two lists about my how I feel about my pregnancy:
Reasons why I'm Excited!
1. After nannying and working in the public school system I am excited to accept the challenge and blessing of motherhood! I am excited to utilize everything I've learned about raising and educating children, and I'm excited for a new, deep perspective on what I've learned so far.
2. I'm excited that there will be a little life connecting Travis and I; our child is someone who we will both love with all our hearts for the rest of our lives...what a wonderful thing to share!
3. I'm excited to experience pregnancy and motherhood, because it's something that is so natural and a powerful experience that I will have in common with all of the mothers throughout time!
4. Travis and I both LOVE children and are excited to have a child of our own!
5. I'm excited to see Travis be a daddy. He is so gentle and good with children, I think that it will make me love him even more! (If that's possible!).
6. Of course I think that I will just be the best mom ever and that our child will be a little angel and I just can't wait to shock everybody with our perfect child! Kind of a joke, but in a way it's not. Of course every parent thinks his/her child is the best kid ever!
Reasons why I'm Nervous about Being Pregnant:
1. Tomorrow is my first doctor's appt, and right now I'm mostly just nervous that I'm not pregnant, or that something is horribly wrong. I've never been so excited to see a doctor!
2. I would have liked the process to take a little bit longer...like, maybe long enough to move into a house! :) Of course I'm nervous about settling into a home, working and parenting full-time, the expense of having a child, my grad school options, etc. There's a lot to worry about!
3. I don't want to turn into a yuppy, tuned-out parent. I don't want to be stressed and haggard and consumed by the mortgage, the kids, the cars, etc. My youngest brother recently said (when discussing my pregnancy) that now is the most important time to be pursuing spirituality and meditation and striving for simple living, and I think he is just so wise!
4. My goodness, my body is already doing funny things! Of course I'm nervous about the havoc that is about to be wreaked on my cute little tummy, etc.!
Believe it or not, this is the short list!
Here are two lists about my how I feel about my pregnancy:
Reasons why I'm Excited!
1. After nannying and working in the public school system I am excited to accept the challenge and blessing of motherhood! I am excited to utilize everything I've learned about raising and educating children, and I'm excited for a new, deep perspective on what I've learned so far.
2. I'm excited that there will be a little life connecting Travis and I; our child is someone who we will both love with all our hearts for the rest of our lives...what a wonderful thing to share!
3. I'm excited to experience pregnancy and motherhood, because it's something that is so natural and a powerful experience that I will have in common with all of the mothers throughout time!
4. Travis and I both LOVE children and are excited to have a child of our own!
5. I'm excited to see Travis be a daddy. He is so gentle and good with children, I think that it will make me love him even more! (If that's possible!).
6. Of course I think that I will just be the best mom ever and that our child will be a little angel and I just can't wait to shock everybody with our perfect child! Kind of a joke, but in a way it's not. Of course every parent thinks his/her child is the best kid ever!
Reasons why I'm Nervous about Being Pregnant:
1. Tomorrow is my first doctor's appt, and right now I'm mostly just nervous that I'm not pregnant, or that something is horribly wrong. I've never been so excited to see a doctor!
2. I would have liked the process to take a little bit longer...like, maybe long enough to move into a house! :) Of course I'm nervous about settling into a home, working and parenting full-time, the expense of having a child, my grad school options, etc. There's a lot to worry about!
3. I don't want to turn into a yuppy, tuned-out parent. I don't want to be stressed and haggard and consumed by the mortgage, the kids, the cars, etc. My youngest brother recently said (when discussing my pregnancy) that now is the most important time to be pursuing spirituality and meditation and striving for simple living, and I think he is just so wise!
4. My goodness, my body is already doing funny things! Of course I'm nervous about the havoc that is about to be wreaked on my cute little tummy, etc.!
Believe it or not, this is the short list!
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Laughing together
This is my favorite wedding photo! We don't care how irreverent we're being, where we are, what's going on...we're selfish with the way we constantly steal moments of laughter!
Friday, December 7, 2007
First blog! (On this blog)
Okay, I have given in and started a new blog! But I miss my old one. It's fun to go back to facesinacrowd and look at what I was thinking and feeling about 2 years ago...so much has changed! In a way it's appropriate to start a new blog, though. Facesinacrowd represents a time when I had moved away from home for good for the first time and was just starting to test the waters of "the real world." Now I have been in "the real world" for a little while, and feel that the shifting currents of my identitiy have finally started to become a steady body of water! I am so glad to meet myself! :) I am married, I am settled in the Midwest (for now!) and have a baby on the way. I feel like life is finally settling down...but, I also have this feeling that life is just starting to get really interesting...
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